Where's Tassie?

News brief that appeared in the "Tijuana Chronicle" on Saturday 26th Sept 2009.

"Police arrested a male caucasian with a funny accent on Friday night in downtown Tijuana. The man was apparently trying to solicit a local Mexican dwarf and his transgender donkey for sexual favours. Whilst it is not illegal for this type of activity in Mexico, the arrested man made the solicitation whilst branishing a make shift sawn off shot gun and a small blonde blow-up doll, who he had previously kidnapped from an associate in Las Vegas earlier that week. The doll, who he referred to as "my darling Lisa" was smuggled south of the border down the front of his pants, and had no Passport. Furthermore he was attempting to hook the doll up with the dwarf while he enjoyed the company of the donkey. He has been remanded in custody in the notorious "Tijuana Jail" (along with the dwarf, donkey and 'Lisa") where he is likely to remain until one of his friends arrives to post bail. After his brief court appearance he was lead away protesting his innocence, claiming that he "never had this trouble in Tasmania". A further court appearance is set for later next week. Lisa was quoted as saying she felt "deflated & let down!" Reuters PA

It's Thursday Night Again !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who is Who

Kerry and Baxter

Yeah Sooley - you just got in too !!!!!

CHOPPA CHOPPA - ARE YOU THERE !!!

Shooters and Hooters

Dean's got VJJ'S pussy again

What !!!!! is going on here ????
???

Las Vegas

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas!

Monticello to Vegas with Lisa

Early start this morning, gave the boys a wakeup call at 6am. Some of the things they said would make a grown girl blush, Matty is especially frisky in the morning! Had to do a quick change as we needed to get on the road as soon as possible, so quickly on with the hotpants and the push up bra, bit of lippy and I was ready to go. Breakfast eaten and on the road at 7am, we spotted a few Bambi's making there way to the roadside, reminded us of dinner last night at the diner. Sure our steaks may have been a little roadkill!!

We had only just started our trip into the great American wild blue yonder, when I cracked a beer with Lardro. Things were going fine until Camel decided to pinch my butt, he got a soaking from my beer bottle for that one. First tick in the box was Monument valley on the border of Utah/Arizona. Magnificent rocky columns thrusting into the blue, blue sky. Reminded me of a certain boyfriend.....

Next stop was at a Navajo stall where they sold authentic made in the US of A jewellery. What a girl can do in a place like this, fluttered my eyelashes at all the boys and received bracelets, necklaces and rings in return. The only guy with long pockets and short hands was Matty, will have to work on him a bit more obviously. The mighty Grand Canyon came next, where Matty showed us all the stops along the canyon where he and Mary-Jane got all romantic in their early days. Just a bloody great big hole in the ground with a green coloured Colorado river running along the bottom of it, what's the romance in that.

By now PC had the driving duties, and I noticed a marked improvement in control today. Loss of concentration seemed to occur only when I placed my hand on his knees, what's up with that? I got him to pull off the road to drive along Route 66, where I impersonated one of those lonely blond hitchhikers that you find all over America, he would have passed me by if Tassie hadn't near throttled him to stop. We made sure we stopped at Seligman to pick up all that Route 66 memorabilia that we know everyone wants to receive at home.

The drive carried on into the dark desert night as we made our way to the Hoover Dam. The boys were lucky I managed to flash a little cleavage and a wink at the nice Police man checking us at the checkpoint. Because Lardro's impersonation of Asama bin Laden didn't quite cut the mustard when we were stopped. It was a bit dark at the Hoover dam but that made the bright neon lights of Las Vegas appear more spectacular when entering the city.

Overall it was a great day, I managed to keep those boys in line. They all seem to think thay have a chance with me, but I'm loyal only to my big daddy, Dodger. I wish those Mauler boys wouldn't use that other filthy nickname for him, I guess it's up to us Mauler girls to educate them. Anyway the bed calls

Lots of luv and kisses

XXX

Lisa

PS Hope you can all make it to Hooters tomorrow to support me as I'll be having a trial run

Roadtrip to Monticello

Made our way down to Grand Junction before heading out along the dual carriageway with Matt in charge of the vehicle. She's pretty much packed to gunwhales with our luggage, but the ride is good. Some are feeling a little under the weather, the warm beers weren't exactly hitting the right spot, but the views soon got the boys heads up. She's certainly a big country out there in middle USA. Made the turnoff down a backcountry road at Cisco, blink and you miss this town of broken cars and buildings, sure looked like we were heading into hickville land.

By this time PC was driving and the lads were gripping the seats on every corner, he ensured we weren't going to cross that centreline thats for sure. The fact we were running the right hand side in the ruts and brushing the wing mirrors on the local shrubbery ensured we had eyes peeled wide open!!

We basically followed the Colorado all the way to Arches Park, where we paid our ten dollars to go and see the views on top of the Mesa. Damn impressive it was too, even Lisa got really excited, only wish Lardro would leave her alone when she's excited.

We've stopped off in a little town called Montichello, Utah. Couple of rooms in the local truckers motel are all we require. Have feed ourselves down at the local diner where the waitress out did Eddie in the size stakes. Tassies already renamed the place Buttfuck in Utah, bet he doesn't mention that one to the locals or he may find himself relaxing with the local redneck.

We're on a road trip to Vegas

Leaving beautiful Aspen this morning on a little road trip with Lisa. Snow is falling in the hills and we're getting slurries down here in Aspen. The marrieds have already left this morning for Denver and a plane trip to Las Vegas. Last night madness was a blast apparently, but can't remember much (the rumour that I spent the night asleep on the toilet is totally untrue).

Anyways, Lardro, Matt, PC, Camel, Tassie, Lisa and I have got an adventure ahead of us, we're off to win a million!!

We would have left by now, except we've been waiting for PC to powder his nose and him and Camel to make a last ditch effort for the yellow jersey.

By now you have finished the prize giving and are no doubt well down the back straight, we can only imagine how you all are feeling now after such a great occasion. Fortunately we can also imagine how most of you will be feeling in the morning but the memory will make it worth while. Roger is doing a great job keeping us up to date and we (Deano, myself and Kerry) are very greatfull for your efforts but it would be nice if we could get some more photo's maybe of the venue and some action shots of the games. We realize this is not a high priority for you but we are having another "training" session on thursday and we need some more material to discuss over a bevy or two. See if you can get some of those cheerleaders to contribute Rog, Ussually you can't shut them up you would think they would jump at the chance to talk a whole lot of shit to keep the home quard amussed. Now that we know who won the rugby the attention must turn to the major trophy, that being the yellow cardy. I suppose under the curcumstances Mr and Mrs Snedden could be making a late charge? Come on girls give us a bit of goss to keep as entertained.