Where's Tassie?

News brief that appeared in the "Tijuana Chronicle" on Saturday 26th Sept 2009.

"Police arrested a male caucasian with a funny accent on Friday night in downtown Tijuana. The man was apparently trying to solicit a local Mexican dwarf and his transgender donkey for sexual favours. Whilst it is not illegal for this type of activity in Mexico, the arrested man made the solicitation whilst branishing a make shift sawn off shot gun and a small blonde blow-up doll, who he had previously kidnapped from an associate in Las Vegas earlier that week. The doll, who he referred to as "my darling Lisa" was smuggled south of the border down the front of his pants, and had no Passport. Furthermore he was attempting to hook the doll up with the dwarf while he enjoyed the company of the donkey. He has been remanded in custody in the notorious "Tijuana Jail" (along with the dwarf, donkey and 'Lisa") where he is likely to remain until one of his friends arrives to post bail. After his brief court appearance he was lead away protesting his innocence, claiming that he "never had this trouble in Tasmania". A further court appearance is set for later next week. Lisa was quoted as saying she felt "deflated & let down!" Reuters PA