Monday, September 28, 2009
Where's Tassie?
"Police arrested a male caucasian with a funny accent on Friday night in downtown Tijuana. The man was apparently trying to solicit a local Mexican dwarf and his transgender donkey for sexual favours. Whilst it is not illegal for this type of activity in Mexico, the arrested man made the solicitation whilst branishing a make shift sawn off shot gun and a small blonde blow-up doll, who he had previously kidnapped from an associate in Las Vegas earlier that week. The doll, who he referred to as "my darling Lisa" was smuggled south of the border down the front of his pants, and had no Passport. Furthermore he was attempting to hook the doll up with the dwarf while he enjoyed the company of the donkey. He has been remanded in custody in the notorious "Tijuana Jail" (along with the dwarf, donkey and 'Lisa") where he is likely to remain until one of his friends arrives to post bail. After his brief court appearance he was lead away protesting his innocence, claiming that he "never had this trouble in Tasmania". A further court appearance is set for later next week. Lisa was quoted as saying she felt "deflated & let down!" Reuters PA
Friday, September 25, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Monticello to Vegas with Lisa
We had only just started our trip into the great American wild blue yonder, when I cracked a beer with Lardro. Things were going fine until Camel decided to pinch my butt, he got a soaking from my beer bottle for that one. First tick in the box was Monument valley on the border of Utah/Arizona. Magnificent rocky columns thrusting into the blue, blue sky. Reminded me of a certain boyfriend.....
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Roadtrip to Monticello
We're on a road trip to Vegas
Monday, September 21, 2009
Post Match
Over 45's Final VS Virginia Cardinals
Through the cheerleader squad we entered the field and set up for our Haka. Captains met and we ripped into our final game haka with camera's flashing left, right and centre.
Kickoff was ours and the ball went long, game on. The first half we probably let ourselves down with loose ball not being secured, to much snatching at the ball in prime positions. We were maintaining constant pressure on the Virginia Cardinals but were unable to crack their line till well into the first half. The try came eventually from a ruck right in front of the posts, Fred Waititi was playing halfback, he picked the ball up scooted wide, ducked under and through a couple of tackles to step around the final defence and score under the posts (GO THE TANIWHA)! The conversion was slotted but no more points before half time came.
Second half kicked off with us maintaining pressure, we weren't allowing the Cardinals much time in our half as our game plan was always to send the ball deep into their half from kicks and build pressure there. But they were still too close for comfort, and when a penalty was awarded straight out in front, we took the kick...very un-mauler like, but points none the less. The Cardinals were now trying to run from everywhere and our defence was smacking them over ,with irrepresible Puss leading the charge from the side of the scrum. we were to eventually able to score with our American imports providing two of them from tight play I believe (hopefully I'll find out the names soon). Unfortunately for us and more importantly Puss, he got badly damaged with what we think is a dislocated shoulder. Off in an ambulance he went while the game carried on. By now we had the opposition well and truly camped in their own half as the wind was now on our side and rain had made an appearance at one of our games. An attempt at running it from their own twenty two ended up with a turnover about ten out, Flipper was gifted the ball and all he had to do was to jog over the line untouched, game over. The scoreboard displayed 30 to nil, haven't quite worked out the math for that, but hey we're the over 45 champs.
Time for a shower and a beer, many many beers before the nights out I'm thinking.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Can't beat this day
Greg and Jens day was going to be the best we are going to experience on this trip (and I'm prepared to say it is going to be better than us winning tomorrow....Tats won't though).
We were very fortunate, and also Gregs backpocket probably was not lightened as much as it
The meal was enjoyed, speeches made, balls signed, everyone told to go to bed early for the match tomorrow, our bunch of Americans given warrior jersys from our very own mad butchers, the wedding cake was cut but what made the day truly spectacular was when Jen stood up and sang our National Anthem. She sang it beautifully, and I'm going to have to admit, a tear did roll down my cheek.
Post match fine session and evening
All I can say is many shots were sunk and the Judge did disgrace himself (Air Force, harden up)!! Many of us enjoyed a carnivores delight at Little Annies dressed in Black. Then painted the town red till kickoff of the All Black game at 1.30am.
But the best was to happen the next day, read on
VS Boulder, Loss 21-7
With some very dubious knockons not called by the female refs, Boulder were able to score a couple in the first half, but we did get one back after the Boulder team didn't clear their line too well with a defensive kick. The ruck was set up midfield about 25 out, ball swung left to PC who broke the defensive line and offloaded to Greg to score under the post.
Second half we allowed another try in, but were glad to leave the park without too many more injuries. Off to the sideline bar for some "Dark and Stormies"
P.S. It did get very dark and stormy not too long after our game, the wind came, branches started falling off the aspens, then the rain and lightening hit to call off the second semi-final. Fortunately it stopped in time for the "Blackout" aftermatch in town.
Saturday, September 19, 2009
" Thursday's supporters club"
VS A Yellow team, Loss 30 something to Nil
Thank god there is only one more game left, the boys tanks are running dry.
VS Cardinals, great loss, many points to 12
Down to the bottom field with another sun filled day and temperatures climbing. I'll describe their first as after that it gets a little repetitive. The Cardinals like to run the ball as they have some gas out there, and their first sortie ended in a try. Along the backline after setting a ruck, they quick handed it to the wing on the outside, who stepped through my useless tackle to score. Lets say we were to see the heels of their number 14's, the one with the orange heels was playing US sevens and the other 14 with the silver heels had played for the eagles and the sevens as well. They carved up all game long if given the chance, and we gave it!!
We were the next to score, Chopper was back on deck and ran the ball from 30 to about 15 out midfield crashing it up. Another drive got the ball to about the ten where Becks flipped the ball out to lonely me on the outside, I was able to grab the ball before one of the 14's intercepted it, spun and ran for the corner making it in the tackle.
It was fairly tight for most of this half, and we had a sustained period of attack on their line, till we lost it then they scored after to many subs going off when they had the penalty.
The second half they won of course, but Chopper was back on form, much to the boys delight. He crash tackled their centre at their 30m as only we know he can. The ball popped from the defenders hands into PC's who was able to fend off the fullback and stumble towards the line, but with defenders about to pounce on him he offloaded to our very own Chopper who had got off the ground to assist to score under the posts. Game over, onto the next one in a couple of hours.
P.S. I was told to mention there were 4 current and 4 ex Eagles or Sevens players in the team. I dunno why?!
Friday, September 18, 2009
VS Missouri Black and Blues, Win 33-5
Last game of the day but we are already in the finals, a five team round robin so believe we will be playing the Cardinals. Despite that we were all fired up, with injuries to Carbs, Puss and the Buzzard (plus one of the Wisconsin boys was in hospital getting patched up from the first game) we had enough subs.
Our first came pretty quickly off the kickoff, where we overpowered the opposition ruck to launch Sooley off the outside of Lardro at first. He bashed and crashed his way up from their forty metres to finally one hand the ball like an alley loop in the last tackle to BJ running in support to score.
Next was a blindside move from a driving ruck with Moses first up to receive 20 out, he just planted his big fat foot down and tumbledried a few opposition players on his way to the tryline.
Next try was to the Missouri boys, breakdown from us about fifty out had the winger from Missouri pouncing on the ball to kick upfield, he dribbled it all the way to the tryline with only Lardro sprinting with him to prevent the try, Lardro and probably the Missouri boy would say that the try was not scored, but the ref is final arbiter.
Final try of the half went to our Wisconsin import John, who received a ball we think from Becks out on the wing (the big blond fella was his description). With 60, no 50....no 20m to go, he ran around the outside and scored. First half up, but don't know the true score, someone did kick conversions.
Next try came after an altercation with the no8 and our very own Sooley, this resulted in a red card to the Missouri boy (remember not to say "motherfucker" on the rugby fields in the US). Mind you Flipper was sent off with a yellow in the first, apparently he's got big elbows! Anyway we had a penalty 25 out, the call was to kick into the corner, but Sooley overruled the tapper and said pass it to me...and we all know how we shouldn't upset the rampaging bull. He aimed straight at the opposition and blasted them all out of the way to score under the posts. No doubt sticking to the No8.
The last try was from about 60 out, blindside move with Marc picking up off the back, the blindside fell off him and set sail up field. Tatts was roaring off up field inside of him, and with just the fullback to beat, thought here's my chance to score, Marc just had to draw and pass with no one in front. Of course a dummy was thrown, but Marc saw Tatts sad, sad face and gave him the ball to score out wide(ish). The last act was Lardro setting up the ball to convert, stepping back, then hearing Sumo yelling at the ref to get out of the way 40 out as he charged the ball down....and converted it!!
Beers by the field, Gogo dancers at the local pub, its gonna be a late night, especially as our 8am kickoff tomorrow is now delayed to 3.30.
VS Denver Harlequins, Win 26-5
First try to our Wisconsin player Marc, from about forty out, didn't see to much of it as I was scrambling on the ground for my loose boot after passing to him, but appparently he powered down the sideline bumping off players to score in the corner.
Second was an up and under just outside the 22 by Lardro. It had enough height and distance for the chasers to put pressure on the catcher. The ball bounced from the catcher into Lardro's hands following up for him to sprint to the line from 55 out. He kicked the conversion.
The next was after some good driving play up to the oppositions 20m, ball to Becks at first five, he was able to put his hands through the gap to offload to BJ about ten out, he crashed over the line with two defenders hanging on to him. Dunno who kicked the conversion though, so 19-0 up at halftime.
The Denver boys were first to score in the second after a series of penalties against us. One of their forwards barged over from a tap five out.
Our last came after Jamie almost went over, the scramble on the line ended up with the opposition trying to run it but they dropped the ball for another of our Wisconsin players Fishy to pounce on and score from about 2m out.
Game over and off for some more punishment in the ice bath before our next game at 5.20.
And yes Deano and Baxta, the backs are now on the board, but its bloody hard to score when we have to keep it tight all the time, eh!!
Versus the Cardinals, Win 19-0
First try came from a ruck turnover I think from about 20 out. Flipper received a lollipop pass, he ran through the first five, stood up in the final tackle to pop to Sumo lumbering up on his side to score. Flipper slotted the conversion. This was the halftime score, so we knew we would have to pull finger in the second.
Next was from a ruck that formed right on the their line after some good driving. Stu has been watching a few NFL moves and jumped across the pile of bodies to score.
Last try came from some good play that left the opposition tight in their corner. From the lineout I think, the forwards spread themselves wide to take a few hit ups, the last one from Piggy who crashed through two defenders to score. PC slotted the conversion.
Versus Brothers for life, Win 22-0
First up win for us, 10am start with a good crowd enjoying the Haka.
First try to Sooley standing off at first from 30 out, step inside the opposition first and around the fullback to score right in front - Flipper bounces the ball off the post.Next was to Stu, buggered if I can remember how he scored that one, 10 nil up at halftime.
Third try was a classic from the 1950's, a forward rush from Sumo after the opposition lost the ball from lineout. He dribbled and dribbled like a football player all the way to the line 20 out to flop on the ball over the line.
Last was the classic 89 when Carbys saw no one up on blind 60m out. Hand off to our Wisconsin halfback Steve then onto Greg who tore up field stepping inside and outside of opposition till he ran out of options 15 out, and he had to pass the ball to Stu calling on his inside, PC banged over the conversion, final score 22 nil.
Thursday, September 17, 2009
San Francisco!!!!!
Kangaroo Court (now named KIWI court) was a rowdy chaotic affair which kept the other hotel patrons highly amused and Sooley was the biggest drinker, followed closely by many others.
We are now in Aspen and have caught up with the "singles". Training run this morning and first game tomorrow at 10am. Will keep you updated. Look out for a couple of photos once we know how to load them.
Pagie
Post first night madness blowout
The post match warmdown involved a few laps of the swimming pool, steam bath and hot tub spa, nothing wrong with that. Plus rubdowns for those who required it from Jen, she's going to be working her rearend off over the next few days. Talking about rearends, Choppers rather large one is now suffering from severe bruising after being taken down by Puss. I'm sure he will be able to find a good stock of painkillers amongst the geriatrics on the team!! Not sure Tracy is going to enjoy the sleeping arrangements with a groaning invalid beside her though.
Roger
P.S. Great to see Deano and Baxta are still holding up the bar back home (see comments tag below), we're really thinking about you.....not!!
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
The marrieds are in town
But the big news was that the marrieds were in town, that didn't worry us singlies too much as we were enjoying a few quiet ales at one of the locals down the road. But it was great to see all the boys turn up to participate in a few beers, cheer on the local "far too young and drunk talent" trying to strip in front of our eyes (that wasn't the southern cross on her hips, eh)?
But much to the delight of Llardro and myself was the absence of a certain veeeery loud mauler later in the evening, who could possibly be a judge on kangaroo court day, who probably has all maulers that have wimped out on the aftermatch on his list of losers, eh Tatts!!
Looking forward to tomorrows rugby practice, although those San Fran boys are looking very, very jaded......
Roger
p.s. we found Tassie today, 29hr train trip through cougar country, one day late due to his wallet being pickpocketed at San Francisco, but he did get some side benefits on the trip into Aspen!
Post trip recuperation
Roger
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Singlies hit Aspen
Roger
Monday, September 14, 2009
Singlies are go, where are the marrieds?
Roger
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Last Thursday Training before Aspen
Yes, it's good to be us....
Roger
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Gentleman of Aspen Trip

So some of the travelling party will be invited to do their own bit in maintaining the blog, and updating all on the latest developments and bullshit from the trip.
I'm sure the next few weeks are going to be a ball, bring it on!!!!
Roger (or the Ra@#st, if confused)
http://masseymaulers.co.nz/









